Managing Our Ambitions: Choices, not chance, in an imperfect world.

In focus group discussions to plan the 2006 SoCal Women’s Leadership Conference with women and men who are business leaders working with top corporations, we discussed the challenges faced by women who desire to advance.  One issue is balance.  Juggling various roles and trying to have some semblance of a personal life is easier said than done. Pressures on women are great, coming from all sides, not the least of it from the women themselves.  From our interviews, we learned that managing guilt remains a challenge.

Expectations have changed
Let’s face it: the women’s movement raised expectations for the daughters of women who lived and parented through the turbulent sixties. The prevalent attitude is: “we can do everything if we prepare ourselves and seize opportunities.” Having it all is a bit of magical thinking because while expectations have changed and roles  are shifting, corporations haven’t kept pace with changing roles and expectations on women by providing the kind of flexibility they need to remain in the game.

Juggling is an art. Lois Phillips wrote about "Fragmentia: The disease of women in transition," women trying to  juggle personal ambitions with conventional role expectations. Even if our personal lives seem relatively balanced, things come up: an unexpected merger, a move to a new facility. There are just so many changes we can cope with -- physically, emotionally, and practically -- if some or all occur at the same time. Unrelenting change: it’s the only thing we can count on in the 21st century.

Achieving work/life balance is a moving target. A CFO in the entertainment industry sees it this way:

"Some sacrifices are worth it but one has to be thoughtful. You may have to be strategic about your time. Ask yourself, which family events are critical to attend? Maybe you don't need to attend every piano lesson or sports event, but recitals and the final playoffs are more important. Maybe a few of the more routine meetings can go on without you."

We've heard consistently that working women must get their priorities straight. Women who are busier than they’d like to be can be conflicted; on the one hand, they experience great satisfaction with the completion of a creative or difficult project, and on the other hand, they know what they’re missing when they don’t have enough down time for recreation, hobbies, and friends and family. Yet current research on stress consistently directs women and men to balance work with recreation and rest, with dire results if they don’t.

Working parents
Working parents need to think strategically about the choice points. When you hit one of those days where you have to choose between work and family, one bit of advice given by executives is to have  their staff consider the consequences. Ask yourself: "Will I be punished in some way - personally or professionally - if I don’t attend a family function, or if I don’t attend this meeting?"

Miss the ordinary meeting, and someone can bring you up to speed afterwards if you make proper arrangements. Missing the magic of your daughter or best friend’s piano recital can’t be replicated. You get to choose.

Catalyst for Women publishes an annual list of the  top employers for women so we know there are precedents for changing a  workplace culture and climate to be more 'woman-friendly,' which is another  way of saying 'family-friendly.' With regard to advancing women, enlightened male executives at top corporations can raise the bar for their peers, taking risks at the policy level, speaking up to debate the issues, and funding innovative mentoring programs to ensure that women advance, and most  importantly, sending the message to everyone that talented people – women and  men - will be developed to achieve leadership positions. Taking this stance ensure that women don’t leave for a better opportunity elsewhere. 

Women and men
Throughout the cycles of our lives, women make trade-offs, often unwittingly. While men don’t need to make the same sacrifices, for now women who want families still do. To become an executive, women need to think more strategically about the trade-offs that will keep them on the right  trajectory. Why derail? Why take a time out? Men don’t. Nobody wants to  leave a good employer but sometimes the juggling act becomes untenable. It's  easier to talk to a supervisor about career options when the corporation provides a "Gender Initiative" along with a range of strategies to retain talent. Then, it’s not about you. Rather, it’s agreed to be a common problem facing  your employer who wants to retain talent.

Questions
So, given that women today want and expect more from themselves at the same time they expect to find personal meaning and identify from work, we ask you:

• How ambitious are you? 
• Have you found career opportunities through "luck" and "chance" or through a strategic  plan for advancement?   
• What  sacrifices are you willing to make to advance to the executive level of  management? 
• Where won’t you compromise in terms of “quality of life” issues and maintaining  balance? What’s your bottom line?

Let us hear back. We’ll publish your replies. And plan to attend the Women’s Leadership Conference  March 23 and 24 at the Westlake Hyatt Hotel to hear more about this subject. 

Thanks!
Lois Phillips with Fran Lotery

Comments

[thebizofknowledge.com]

I don't think achieving balance between one's personal and professional lives is an issue solely faced by women. We all need to think in terms of choices and making certain that one facet of our lives isn't sacrificed for another.